Being a Highly Sensitive Man – Awakened Living Episode # 3

All men have “invisible insecurities and sensitivities”… I say invisible, because they are often hidden behind masks and walls. The truth is, when a man learns to embrace his sensitive nature, and overcomes his insecurities, he will become a “real man”.

I personally have struggled with being a “highly sensitive man” for my whole life… For a long time I saw it as a weakness. Now I know it is a strength.

Through embracing our sensitivities, rather than rejecting them, we tap into our true potential. Remembering, that sensitivity has nothing to do with emotions. It is about being present and feeling your inner and outer world with clarity. This provides a power to influence our environment in a positive way, and to always maintain our center.

Remember… Being a highly sensitive man does NOT mean you are weak.

>>> Click Here to Listen on Spotify, especially if you are (or know) a highly sensitive man! <<<

(00:00) – Introduction – Limitations of Social Media & Power of Podcast

(02:05 – The importance of untangling sensitivity and emotional processes

(17:57) – Clearing Emotional Baggage and Healing Trauma

(20:57) – The opportunity to make new choices and redefine what it means to be a man

(30:14) – Cultivating Inner Strength and Detachment 

(35:27) – Breaking down emotional walls and connecting with one’s heart

(40:06) – Embracing sensitivity and finding strength rather than weakness

Welcome to the Awakened Living podcast with Robbie J. Bone. Through ancient & modern spiritual practices, we offer valuable tools, practices & wisdom to enhance your Human Experience.

In today’s episode, Robbie discusses how to overcome insecurity and sensitivity, so that it becomes a strength not a weakness… This is episode e of “Wisdom of the Week”, Where Robbie shares the wisdom, stories, and lessons from his week.

If you enjoyed today’s podcast, please subscribe and share this with someone who can benefit, so we can help more people live an Awakened Life.  ⁠For more information on Robbie’s work, or to book a free call, follow this link.⁠

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>>> Click Here If you’re a highly sensitive man to Listen on Spotify. <<<

Overview

In this episode of the Awakened Living podcast, the speaker discusses the topic of sensitivity in men. He shares his personal experience of being a sensitive man and how it was initially seen as a burden but has now become one of his greatest strengths. The speaker challenges societal beliefs about what it means to be a man and emphasizes that being a man is about being true to oneself rather than conforming to stereotypes. He explains that sensitivity can manifest in various ways such as mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual sensitivity. The speaker also highlights the importance of embracing vulnerability and opening up emotionally in relationships. The speaker discusses the redefinition of masculinity and the insecurities and fears that men often face in relationships. They explain that sensitivity is a result of fear and insecurity, but it can be transformed into a superpower by overcoming these negative emotions. The importance of self-validation, self-love, and building confidence is emphasized as ways to clear fear and become a strong, empowered man. The speaker also addresses the tendency for men to seek validation from women and highlights the need to validate oneself instead. They discuss how clinginess and neediness stem from a desire for validation, which can lead to codependent relationships. By learning how to validate oneself internally, men can overcome their fear of rejection and become more confident. This newfound confidence makes them less dependent on external validation and more attractive to others. The speaker emphasizes the importance of emotional resilience in navigating relationships effectively, while also acknowledging that rejection is not always one’s fault or responsibility. Overall, they advocate for rewriting societal beliefs about masculinity and embracing sensitivity as a strength when combined with emotional growth.

Action items

• Based on the transcript, there are several tangible action items mentioned. Here they are grouped by the responsible person:
• Individual Actions:

1. Validate oneself and build self-worth.
2. Release fears and negative emotions.
3. Break down the walls around the heart.
4. Embrace sensitivity and learn to be a thermostat rather than a thermometer.
5. Cultivate a sense of inner connection and centeredness.
6. Seek help and support from healers, therapists, coaches, or mentors.
7. Engage in practices such as yoga, qigong, or meditation.
8. Experience life in different ways to find healing and transformation.

• Collective Actions:

1. Share the podcast and its message with others who may benefit from it.

• These action items are aimed at personal growth and development, as well as fostering a deeper understanding of sensitivity in men. They encourage individuals to take responsibility for their own healing and to seek support when needed. Additionally, sharing the podcast helps to spread the message and create a more awakened and compassionate world.

Podcast Outline

• Chapter Outline:

Chapter 1: Introduction to Wisdom of the Week (00:00 – 00:58)

• Purpose of Wisdom of the Week episodes on the Awakened Living podcast
• The limitations of social media and the power of podcasting to share wisdom with depth and presence

Chapter 2: Understanding Sensitivity and Emotional Process (02:05 – 04:25)

• Exploring the need for elaborate identities and personas driven by insecurity
• The importance of untangling sensitivity and emotional processes
• How sensitivity applies to both men and women

Chapter 3: Clearing Emotional Baggage and Healing Trauma (17:57 – 20:42)

• The significance of validating oneself and clearing emotional baggage
• The process of healing and resolving deep insecurities
• The motivation behind clearing emotional trauma

Chapter 4: Rewriting Beliefs and Redefining Masculinity (20:57 – 26:45)

• The opportunity to make new choices and redefine what it means to be a man
• The importance of communication, sharing, and taking responsibility
• Resolving deep insecurities and increasing emotional capacity

Chapter 5: Cultivating Inner Strength and Detachment (30:14 – 34:46)

• Learning to hold oneself in love, beauty, and strength
• Developing the ability to interpret and read the energy of the environment
• Increasing capacity to experience life from a detached place

Chapter 6: Breaking Down Walls and Seeking Support (35:27 – 39:45)

• Breaking down emotional walls and connecting with one’s heart
• The importance of seeking help and support in healing and transformation
• Embracing the human experience and finding resources for growth

Chapter 7: Embracing Sensitivity and Manifesting a Better World (40:06 – 42:14)

• Embracing sensitivity and finding strength rather than weakness
• The ongoing process of healing and transformation
• Encouraging sharing and spreading the message for a more awakened life
• Please note that the timestamps provided are approximate and may vary slightly based on the actual audio or video recording.

Notes

• Wisdom of the Week episodes are about sharing wisdom from personal experiences and others.
• The format allows for more depth compared to social media.
• Sensitivity is going to be discussed, specifically in the context of men.
• The speaker acknowledges that they can’t speak directly to females but believes they can still benefit from the discussion.
• Taking space when needed is important.
• Sensitivity can manifest mentally and physically.
• Understanding and untangling sensitivity is crucial.
• Sensitivity is a normal part of the human experience.
• Clearing fear is essential to making sensitivity a superpower.
• Validating oneself and learning to be with oneself is uncomfortable but clears emotional baggage.
• Healing work helps to touch on emotions.
• Rewriting beliefs about masculinity and sensitivity is important.
• Making choices and communicating are key.
• Taking responsibility and not taking things personally is emphasized.
• Changing oneself in a healthy way is crucial.
• Sensitivity allows for interpreting and reading the energy of an environment.
• Being a grounding rod and transmitter of information is valuable.
• Sensitivity from a neutral place aids in facilitating processes and relationships.
• Assessing and reassessing one’s life is important.
• Breaking down walls around the heart is necessary.
• Reaching out for help is encouraged.
• Working on fears and negative self-talk is crucial.
• Healing the heart and connecting with the soul is emphasized.
• Embracing sensitivity and becoming a thermostat rather than a thermometer is encouraged.
• Taking action and manifesting what one desires is important.
• Finding support to heal is recommended.
• Compassion and grace for oneself are necessary.
• It takes time to develop strength.
• Sharing one’s interpretation and feedback is welcomed.
• Sharing the podcast and subscribing helps spread the message.
• The speaker is Robbie J. Bone.

Transcription – Being a Highly Sensitive Man

Hey, everyone. Welcome to episode three of Wisdom of the Week on the Awakened Living podcast. So these Wisdom of the Week episodes are basically where I just share some wisdom that’s been coming through in my own life and from the people I’ve been around. And so this is one of my passions to share in this way. And I really love this format because social media, it’s these little 32nd clips, 1 minute clips. And in some ways there’s a lot of truth to that. You can put a lot of wisdom in a few words, and there’s great power and there’s also a lack of depth. And there’s this knowing that you have five to 10 seconds of someone’s attention span and there are certain concepts that require more depth, more presence and more time. 

So I’m really excited to be able to share in that way with you guys through this beautiful format of a podcast. So thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate your presence here and the opportunity to share. And today I feel very excited about this topic of sensitivity and being a sensitive man, right, sensitivity, especially for men. And the reason I’m excited about this is because my whole life I’ve been an extremely sensitive man. And for the majority of that time, it was a tremendously challenging what felt like a burden, it felt like a curse. And I had a lot of judgment towards myself. I felt like I was weak. I felt like I was not a man. I felt like I was a little kid, a pussy. 

All these different things that we use that are very derogatory towards ourself when we think we should be different than we are and how much ego craziness comes from that, thinking, I’m not how I’m supposed to be, therefore I need to be different. Therefore I need to create all these elaborate identities and personas and whatever passions or purposes in the world that are governed by these deep places of insecurity. And it’s not inherently bad. It’s just to realize that there’s a certain lie in that. So all of this being said, it was a really hard time for most of my life being so sensitive, especially as a little kid, then as a young man. And now it’s become one of my greatest strengths. I consider it a superpower for myself and for others who I see embodying this energy of sensitivity.

So we’re going to jump into that. We’re going to jump into sensitivity in general and how it applies to men. And I want to offer to you in this episode a deeper understanding and some epiphanies around sensitivity, what it is and what it isn’t and how it gets twisted up with a lot of our emotional process when it really doesn’t need to. And we’re also going to talk about it directly in the context of men, although I think if you are a female, you’ll still get a lot of benefit from this. I’m not a female, so I can’t speak directly to females. And I’d love to hear from your experience of being sensitive or not, right. Does what I share as a man who considers himself to be sensitive, does it apply to you? And so, yeah, we’re going to jump in. 

We’re going to jump into this topic. And one of the things about being sensitive, especially as a man, is that it goes against a lot of cultural beliefs and ideas of being a man, which is kind of like, suck it up, be a man, right? Men don’t cry. You got to keep moving forward, right? Like these different things that apply to male energy in our world, and we take them as truth. We take them whether, like, now we’re breaking that apart, right? Like, the world is really breaking that apart and it’s still ingrained in our system. So we take it as truth. And we hold walls and barriers, and we believe we have to be a certain way to be a man. And that has nothing to do with being a man. 

And in fact, being a man has nothing to do with what anyone says about being a man. Being a man is about being you. As a man. We’re all different. So no one can tell you how to be a man. We’re all our unique expression of men, of male energy. And there’s certain things that are commonalities that we can inspire each other and invoke within each other. So when we look at those tendencies, to be sensitive is really contradictory to being a man in that belief system. Therefore, the natural belief would be, well, to be a man, I can’t be sensitive and I need to be, in fact, insensitive. I should probably put some walls up around my heart. I should probably be cold, I should probably be harsh. 

And all of these things that become assumptions based on these beliefs and we reject very important part of manhood, which is vulnerability. And the inner child, the little boy that lives inside every single man. And that little boy is a source of deep genius and inspiration and creativity and innocence and love connection. And without that being integrated in a healthy way, we become cold. We become stuck in our ways. We get stuck in ruts and all these things we need that chaos and craziness and unpredictability of the inner child. Children never stay the same. They’re bouncing off the walls all the time. And men, we can get all we can become tight asses, right? We become hard asses. And it doesn’t feel good for anyone. No one enjoys it. I know our partners certainly don’t enjoy it and our children certainly don’t enjoy it. 

And if you really dig deep, I doubt that you enjoy it. It’s just were told that’s how we should be. And it’s a natural repercussion of rejecting our inner child. And so when we understand these aspects of manhood, of what it means to be a human, and that children are very sensitive. So basically, to reject our sensitivity, we have to, on some level, reject that little boy inside of us, that little girl inside of us, that child inside of us. And what can be helpful to understand is these ideas around being a man, that you have to suck it up, that men don’t cry, be a man. They don’t apply in the same way today. And there was a time on the planet when those were valid. They became real for a reason. Like, we had to go through that. 

That was a collective experience. We had to go through and grow through and to also understand that back in the day, it was a different time, and sometimes you do have to suck it up. If you’re the man of the house and your children need to eat and your wife is given birth, there’s no time to be crying and feeling bad about yourself, like, you got to go out and hunt and go out and take care of shit, right? So it’s helpful to put the context there that there is truth in those statements in certain moments, and it’s important to be able to then take space when we need it. So an example is, like, traditionally in Native American culture, there’s a lot of warrior energy in the culture, and a warrior has nothing inherently to do with killing. 

We think of warriors as, like, going out to war and warring and killing the enemy and defending the village in this epic combat. And actually, that was more of, like, the last resort. Like, actually, warriors were built on honor and bravery and virtue. They took care of the sick. They took care of the poor and the hungry. They took care of the elders. They took care of the children and the women. They were the protectors and the defenders. They went out and hunted, which was dangerous, right? Like, hunting is dangerous. It’s not like you go out and hunt and just pick a few berries and come home. 

If you’re hunting a buffalo or something, and you’re going out there, and you’re going out for days, and you might not be able to eat much on that journey, and you got to be physically fit, and it’s not easy. It’s not an easy lifestyle. And, yes, there was an aspect of war as well. And so there was moments when the men would go out as warriors, and they would fight, and they would do what they needed to do, and there would be certain things that would be hard about that. If you’re a man of virtue, if you’re a man of bravery and a man of love and compassion and you live for the people, you can’t take a life of another human with ease. It’s not an easy thing. And in many moments, they wouldn’t even necessarily kill each other. 

They’d cut off each other’s hair as a sentiment of conquering them, being like, I’m the winner here. I don’t need to kill you. I take your honor. And so when they would come home from war and battle, the men would go into sweat lodge ceremony and the sweat lodge would purify them of that negativity. If they needed to cry, they’d have space to cry or release, feel the emotions they need to feel. There’s a time to be a man. There’s a time to be in that space where men can detach emotionally. We can be in that place where sometimes we need to, right? It’s part of our makeup. Sometimes we got to be able to kill animal and be ruthless and not feel all bad about it because we got to take care of our family. 

And there’s times when we need to acknowledge our feelings. And so it’s a discernment and a moment by moment experience. So when we look at these aspects of being a man, it’s helpful to see that it’s not so black and white. It’s not like, either be a man, don’t cry and just toughen up or be a man, or you don’t have to be a man and you can have your feelings and talk about your feelings and be emotional and then over feminize men because that’s not good. Men need to be men as well, right? And the world needs men. The world needs strong, empowered, confident, loving, compassionate warriors, true warriors. The world needs that right now. So it’s not like, oh, yeah, come. We’ll talk about our feelings all the time and no. Men also need to learn how to be self reliant. 

And it’s this balance and there’s this pendulum swing where men are becoming overly feminized, and it’s just part of the balancing, and it’s also part of the imbalance of our world. So sensitivity does not necessarily have anything to do with emotions. Sensitivity is more broad than that. And this is very helpful because a lot of times we link up sensitivity with emotions and especially because as little kids we go through this growing of emotions, growing of our emotional body. And it’s a hard time. It’s not an easy time to start to feel emotions and the breadth and the depth of emotions that a child can feel. And it can be scary. It can be scary for us and our parents. So sensitivity we can be mentally sensitive. 

We can be sensitive with our mind and our ideas and our thoughts and picking up psychically the thoughts around us. We can be emotionally sensitive where we’re sensitive and compassionate and empathic to an environment, to what other people feel or we can be emotionally sensitive within ourselves, to how people talk to us or treat us. We can be physically sensitive. Some people are just more physically sensitive, right? Some people feel pain more easily. Some people’s nerves are more sensitive. Some people’s nervous system is more sensitive. Some people just have stronger physical bodies and they’re less sensitive physically. And then we can be spiritually sensitive where we can be sensitive to the subtle realms of the spirit world. And all of these forms of sensitivity are actually connected. 

Sensitivity is sensitivity whether we apply it to spirit, to emotions, to mind, to the physical body because those are the four parts of ourself. Those are the four parts of being a human. So when we realize this, it can be very helpful. Very, very helpful. And this is how we learn how to be sensitive. We have to understand it first and untangle it. So when we apply sensitivity in relationships and in that emotional world the feeling world which is where a lot of men shut down and have trouble and a lot of men struggle in relationships, especially long term relationships and a lot of women want to feel men more and they want to connect with their men more. A man can’t connect with a woman until he’s connected with himself on that level. 

A man can’t be vulnerable with a woman until he’s been vulnerable with himself. A man can’t open his heart to a woman until he takes down the walls and does the inner work to open that heart in life. And that can feel very sensitive and vulnerable. And that’s part of it, part of being a man. The modern man, we’re redefining masculinity in many ways. So when we look at this shutdown that a lot of men feel and then the insensitivity that they feel, especially in relationships well, that’s called insecurity. It’s called fear. The reason we do that is because we’re afraid and insecure. The reason men take things personally and apply that taking things personally to being sensitive is because of fear. And this is important to be aware of pretty much every man and every woman. 

It’s part of the human experience. Fears, rejection. Fears rejection. And so what happens is we tend to be very sensitive when we perceive others rejecting us especially a woman or someone we have really opened our heart to or feel vulnerable around. She says something or does something and we take it personally because we fear rejection and we interpret her actions as rejecting us. And then we feel sad. We feel insecure. We feel like we’re afraid that she’ll leave us. Then we fear abandonment. These are all normal things. And when we mix that and say, well, I don’t want to be sensitive because of all those reasons the way to make sensitivity a superpower is very simple clear the fear. Free yourself from your fear. Free yourself from that insecurity. Free yourself from that need for validation and approval. 

Free yourself from that fear of rejection and you will no longer have sensitivity as a weakness. It’ll become a superpower. So this is very crucial. This is like 101 being a human right? This is how we just be a functional, loving, good human being is we clear these things. And so how do we do that? Well, we do it with ourself first, right? We need to build our confidence in ourself, our love for ourself, our sense of security within just our own being, our sense of self worth. We need to validate ourself, and we need to stop rejecting ourself. Because here’s the funny thing. We fear the rejection of a woman so deeply, and yet every moment, we reject our feelings, we reject our emotions, we reject our heart. We reject that little boy inside of us that needs love. 

And that little boy looks to all these women for that love and validation. Goes to the bar every weekend, whatever, goes on, dating apps, whatever, to get that validation from a woman. That’s your little boy inside of you. We think it’s, oh, I’m a man. I have had sex with this many women, or done, I can do this sexually or do that or whatever. I’m a real player. And that’s called an insecure little boy who’s just looking for validation in the legs of a woman. And that’s not love. That’s not power. That’s not being a man. That’s being a little kid. And I don’t say that with judgment, just to point it out for what it is. 

So when you think you need some pussy, right, and excuse my French, you think you need to get laid, actually, maybe you need to lay down with yourself and hold your heart for a little while and validate yourself and love yourself and breathe into your body and feel what do you really need, right? That would be my suggestion. Validate yourself. Validate yourself. Love yourself. Hold yourself, learn to be with yourself. And you’ll find at first it’ll be really uncomfortable, and then you’ll find it starts to clear, and the emotional baggage starts to clear. And this is where these patterns really get so nefarious, because we ignore and deny the feelings because we don’t want to feel, because it’s uncomfortable, because we just want to feel good, because emotions are bad, whatever the story is. And we suppress emotions over the course of potentially decades. 

And then we start to wake up. We start to do healing work, and we start touch on those emotions. And we’re not just touching on sadness. We’re touching on potentially 30, 40, 50 years of suppressed sadness, which is very intense. And so now we come up against this intense ball of emotions, and we have this idea that emotions are bad. And so it’s not very motivating, right? The motivation is that there’s only so much backlogged emotional trauma that you can clear. And eventually, if you’re focused, if you’re diligent, if you’re disciplined, if you’re willing to do the work, eventually those emotions clear and your relationship to them clears and clarifies and changes, and you become far more solid and strong and confident in yourself, and you become a man as we want to be a man. 

Every man wants to be confident, strong, empowered, self reliant, right? They want to be the leader of their own life. It’s like a common thing that a lot of men feel. They want to feel good enough, strong. And this is how we do it. A lot of men build muscles, but this is emotional muscles build muscles, too, and this is emotional muscles. And when you build those muscles, they work in your favor, especially in your relationships. So free yourself from fear. Validate yourself. Realize that someone at some point, planted the thought in your mind that you weren’t good enough and said, you’re not valid. And usually that happens when we’re little kids, and whoever told you that had way more to do with them than it did with you. And we can make a new choice now. 

We can validate ourselves, we can love ourselves, we can have compassion for ourselves, and that will build that self worth, right? And this is a lot about rewriting your male energy, rewriting your beliefs, rewriting what it means to be a man and what it means for you to be sensitive. It’s like, we got a lot of freedom. We can make choices. We don’t have to live the life that other people tell us to live. This is part of being a man and to remember that when we take things personally, when we feel like there’s something wrong with us because someone rejects us, that we didn’t do good enough, that we aren’t enough, that we failed or lacked in some way, and that’s why they rejected us. 

When people reject you, I’m reminded of something one of my elders says, not your fucking problem. Seriously, not your fucking problem. It’s like when someone rejects you, that has to do with them more than you. That act of rejecting healthy, embodied, mature people don’t just reject each other. They communicate. They talk about it, they share. And so when someone rejects you, it’s not your problem. You don’t have to take it personally and be responsible, take responsibility. What in you is afraid of that rejection. What in you is vibrating at that frequency and attracting that into your life, because it always takes two. So usually people reject us because we get clingy. Usually people reject us because we get needy, and no one wants that. It’s an uncomfortable, annoying energy. And so they naturally push us away. And so why do we get needy? 

Why do we want to suck energy from someone? Why do we become little vampires and put our teeth into them and try to take their energy? Right? Because that’s what it is when we get clingy. And I speak from experience, because I used to be super clingy, and I used to be really insecure, and I used to be like, sensitivity used to be a real problem for me. And I had to really face this and realize, like, whoa, this is not love at all. This has nothing to do with love. And I’m being a little vampire here, and I do not want to be a vampire. So I started facing these things. I started looking within and resolving some of these deep insecurities within myself. Took time. Wasn’t easy. So we get clingy because we want that energy of validation. 

Validation is like a form of energy. It’s a form of power. When someone validates us, especially for men in a sexual relationship or from a woman, there’s this sense of tremendous power and energy that’s transferred and invoked within us, and we feel really good. We finally get what we want approval. We feel good enough. We feel worthy. We got the love of our mother. We finally got the love of our mom. And it’s never enough. It’s never enough. And that’s why we never feel good enough. And this is the trap of the snake eating its own tail. It’ll never be enough. And so we get clingy. Give me more energy. Give me more energy. I need more power. I need more energy. I need more life force. We suck them dry. We suck the relationship dry. 

We create a codependent relationship until it can’t feed us anymore. And then it ends in chaos and destruction. And often there’s then the ultimate rejection. The woman finds another man or cheats on us or just cuts us out of their life. And then that rejection gets deep in our heart. Oh, I feel so bad. Why did she do this to me? Whatever, right? And we can’t see our part in it. It doesn’t excuse a woman’s poor behavior in our life if she cheats on us or if she rejects us in a way that’s cold or harsh or lacking compassion. Right? That’s her. And how did we participate in that? How do we contribute to that? 

And so when we learn how to validate ourself, when we learn how to build our own self worth and our own emotional resiliency, and we learn how to feel secure and confident with ourself through an internal process without needing anything outside of ourself to build that, then we no longer need to be so afraid. We don’t have to fear so much. Then we can be strong. And then if we do get rejected, it’s like, whatever. It doesn’t matter. And guess what? That’s a very attractive energy because women will test. Women love to test. They do it consciously and subconsciously. And men test in our own ways too. It’s part of the human conditioning. It’s like animalistic instinct, like little tests. Who is this man? Who is this woman? Are they who they say they are? Are they who I think them to be? 

Because a lot of men put on a lot of shows for women. It’s not necessarily truthful. So when a woman tests us and rejects us and we just don’t give a fuck. We don’t care because it doesn’t matter. Not because we’re cold, not because we’re unable to feel, not because we’re insensitive, but because we know who we are, we know where we stand in our life with or without that woman. We don’t need to fear that abandonment so deeply. It’s very attractive. It’s a confidence that is very attractive. And it’s something that’s inside of us. It’s something you can’t fake it. You cannot fake it. It’s something that’s either real or it’s not. It’s an embodiment. And we embody it through the inner work, through clearing our fear, through clearing our negative emotions, through loving ourself, loving that little boy, dissolving the walls, right? 

Because when we look at this capacity to be a man, sensitivity becomes our superpower when we clear these things. Because when we become sensitive in a neutral way, where we can just experience the sensitivity, it becomes so powerful. Because we can walk into a room and we can feel the energy of the room and we don’t need to sway with the energy. We can be sovereign, we can walk in, we can feel the energy and be like, whoa, there’s a lot of negative energy in this room. There’s a lot of sadness in this room, there’s a lot of fear in this room, and we can lead the energy. We don’t need to change it, we don’t need to try to control it. 

We can just simply hold our vibration and say, I’m not going to lose my center because there’s fear, sadness or whatever in this room. I’m going to hold my center. And then what’s really powerful and really amazing is we then influence the room. So there was someone who shared this with me that there’s thermostats and there’s thermometers, I believe is what it was. And basically meaning there’s people who like the temperature of the room. There’s people who will be part of that room and they’ll just be a thermometer. They’ll go up and down, depending on the temperature of the room, depending on the energy of the room. If the room is fearful, they’ll be fearful. If the room is happy, they’ll be happy. If the room is sad, they’ll be sad. 

And most people operate in this way, and collectively, most people operate in this way. When everyone wants a new iPhone, I want a new iPhone. When everyone’s afraid of COVID I’m afraid of COVID so on and so forth. Now, there’s thermostat. What does a thermostat do? A thermostat is a dial that influences the entire room, right, and changes the whole temperature of the room by simply turning the dial. And so we can all be thermostats. We can walk into a room and based on our energy and our strength and our love and our power, which is not our power, it’s the power of God, it can influence the room. And change the energy of the room. And it can change that fear into safety and peace. 

It can change that sadness and transmute it into joy and happiness and that anger into calm and serenity and equanimity. Not because we’re trying to change it, not because we think we’re some enlightened being or some powerful being that I walk into a room and I influence it because I’m so great. No, it’s from a deep place of humility where it’s like, I will not compromise my peace and my inner power and strength and the connection I share with the Creator and with Spirit for what other people are doing. I hold sovereign and I hold true and I hold that center point. And that has a very beneficial effect on our environment as a side effect of it, right? That’s the leader. That’s like a humble leader. We don’t need to change anything. Everything is perfect as it is. 

All we need to do is learn how to change ourself in a healthy way, learn how to hold ourself in love and in beauty and in strength. And this is how sensitivity can be such a superpower. We can intuit and feel and experience the energy of a room, the energy of our partners and our children, and we can discern how to move with it in a good way. And so when we look at man and woman, it’s interesting, right? Because what’s the difference between a man and a woman, right? Like, we’re both human. The difference is our sexual organs, really. And our hormonal system is ultimately like the main difference between a man and a woman. Men’s have men have penises, women have vaginas. Simple, right? It’s not so mysterious. And yet it is because men and women are so intrinsically different. 

We’re wired differently, right? It’s an interesting kind of paradox where we’re basically the same. We’re not that different. We’re all souls, we’re all humans, we’re all living this life, and yet we’re also very different. And so when we look at a woman’s sexual organs, they are basically inside of her, which is a very vulnerable place, because when she has sex, she receives a man inside of her. It’s very vulnerable. There’s a sensitivity in that. Whereas men, our sexual organs are outside of our body, right? And there’s a vulnerability to that. And so men have a tendency to feel and experience in that way. We can experience the external environment in a different way. We can become like a rod, right? 

Like both a grounding rod and also kind of like those things you use to like, I forget what they’re called where you can find water under the earth. It’s a certain practice, kind of like not divination, but anyways, I can’t think of it. So we can become that. We can become this kind of rod that can interpret our environment and read the energy of our environment and be a grounding rod and be a transmitter. Of information, right? Like a rod, like a hard cock. And we can be that. And a cock is actually very sensitive. Like, the amount of nerves on that is extremely sensitive. And so what do we do with that sensitivity? A lot of men want to numb it out, right? They don’t want to feel that sense, that much sensitivity, so they numb it out. 

They have a bunch of sex, they watch a bunch of porn. They try not to feel it. They try to reduce the feeling. And yet at the same time, they want to feel it so bad, it’s a strange conundrum. And then some men are so sensitive, they feel too much. They feel too much of it, right? And then that’s very sensitive. So it’s this middle point where we can feel the sensitivity and not be consumed by the feeling, not be consumed by the experience, not be consumed by the energy of it. And so this is where we can increase our capacity to just experience life and to feel life from a detached place. This is a very spiritual place. It’s a place of the witness. 

It’s a place of pure awareness that when we can hold that space of pure awareness, we can become very sensitive and in tune to our environment and we can influence it and interact with it in beautiful, rhythmic, powerful ways. So that’s the suggestion is to learn how to be in that soulful place, that soulful relating with our feeling, with our sensitivity, to realize that it becomes a superpower when you can feel and have empathy for someone else in any situation, right? If you’re helping someone in a facilitative process, if you’re doing a business deal with someone, if you’re creating a business relationship with someone if you’re working with your children or your wife or your partner, if you’re trying to contribute to the world in some way, shape or form. 

If you can feel what’s going on in the world and you’re wanting to interact with it, and you’re wanting to communicate and relate to it, the more sensitive and in tune. You are to it from a neutral place. The more power you have to work with it in a good way because you got more consciousness, you got more awareness in it. It’s awesome. It’s really helpful in a very practical way. So it’s very simple. This stuff is very simple. It’s deeply spiritual, it’s deeply human. And it’s so deeply simple, it really doesn’t have to be overcomplicated. And it really comes down to the willingness to go within, to love yourself, to validate yourself, to build your self worth, to release those fears, that negative experience, those negative emotions, right? 

And it’s as simple as that to reassess your life, to sit with yourself, to love yourself, to validate yourself, to notice when you’re looking for that external validation, to catch yourself and to make a new choice, right? And to begin to break down the walls of your heart, right? If you feel too much in your heart, go into that feeling. Realize that when we feel a lot of negative feelings, then we fear the negative feelings and we fear the experience of being around certain people. And we fear and fear. And it’s like, maybe we don’t have this cold, hard wall, but we become like a snowflake. You’ve probably heard like the snowflake generation. We become like a snowflake where any little thing just melts us. But then we don’t want to be an ice ball either. 

Like a lot of men are just ice balls. They’re just like ice cold. Can’t feel their heart, can’t feel connected, can’t feel emotions. And that’s just as bad. You don’t want to be an ice ball. You want to be somewhere in between. I’m not sure what that is yet. If anyone has an idea, that would be great. We don’t want to be a snowflake, we don’t want to be an ice ball, but what are we, right? It’s something in between. Maybe just like a beautiful flowing river, right, where we just move with life in a good way. So basically we want to cultivate that. If we got a big wall around our heart and you can’t even feel your heart and you can’t even feel what’s being shared here, then it’s time to really work on that. 

It’s time to really break down those walls. This is where it’s good to reach out for help. We’re not going to do that alone. However you want to reach out for help, see a healer, see a therapist, see a coach, go out to men’s circles, go out to men’s retreats, go to sweat lodge, go to ceremony. There’s many resources for you. And just set the intention, I’m going to take this wall down. I’m going to rip this wall down because it does not serve me. It does not serve my family, it does not serve my path, and it does not serve God. The heart is where my power lies, and so I will unlock that. 

And if your heart is very sensitive and it feels like there’s a lot of pain in your heart, and maybe there’s not this sense of a wall, but there’s a sense of being very vulnerable and people can just poke in there and hurt you a lot, well, then it’s time to really look at your self worth. It’s time to really look at your fears and the negative dialogue you’ve been telling yourself. And it’s time to love yourself and validate yourself and be with yourself and not look to others to provide what you can provide yourself. Be a provider. Be a provider of love, compassion, presence, awareness, connection with yourself, and your life will get so much better, so much deeper, so much more beautiful, so much more joyful. So that’s the suggestion. It’s very simple. Be with yourself. Heal your heart. 

All healing starts in the heart. Heal your heart. Connect with your soul. Embrace your sensitivity. Learn how to be a thermostat rather than just a thermometer. No one wants to be a thermometer. There’s no freedom in being a thermometer. There’s no empowerment. There’s no confidence. There’s no sovereignty in that, right? We all want sovereignty. We all want empowerment. We all want that space of connection and centeredness. So create it for yourself. That’s what being a man is about. Go out and create it. Go out and manifest it. Go out and do it and ask for help. Seriously. I guarantee you will not do this alone. 

Healing, transformation, awakening. It is not an isolated event. It’s not. It just isn’t. It’s not an isolated event. We need support, we need help. It’s just part of it. 

There’s a reason everyone has teachers and healers and mentors, and every great teacher has had a teacher, every great healer has had a mentor, every great so on and so forth. It’s just part of the human experience. So to think you’re going to just be alone in your room and heal your trauma and heal your heart, and I don’t need to ask for anyone because I’m self reliant. And yet at the same time, I’m suffering and my relationships are in chaos and my life’s in shambles and I’m unhappy, but I’m self reliant. It’s like, no, just humble yourself and find the help that you need. Find the hands that can help you to heal. It might be a good friend, might be a friend. It might not be some professional thing. It might be a friend. It might be a yoga class. 

It might be qigong. It might be meditation. You might be going out and who knows, experiencing life in some way, shape or form. Whatever it may be, go forth, find it and allow it to find you. So I hope that this was helpful for you. I hope that it helped you to reframe your idea of what sensitivity is and what it isn’t and how it actually is a superpower. It’s an unavoidable part of being a man. Whether you put up walls because you don’t want to feel the sensitivity and you become an ice ball, or whether you have such a sensitive heart and such a sensitive emotional body that every little poke and prod that comes from the external world hurts you and you’re overly sensitive and you’re a snowflake. No judgment. You can hone it and make it a superpower. Make it strong. 

You can feel and be present without it being a weakness. It can become your strength. Within every one of our greatest weaknesses is our greatest strength. So find the strength rather than the weakness. Use the weakness as a way to birth the strength within you and have compassion, grace for yourself. It’s going to take time. So if this was helpful, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear your experience of sensitivity. I would love to hear your interpretation. Does this resonate? Or are you like, man, this guy sure is full of shit, but I guess I listened for the last, whatever, 40 minutes because it was entertaining, at least. I’d love to hear from you because I’m sure there’s things that I’ve missed and there’s perspectives that you have that will be extremely beneficial. 

So I’d love to hear from you. And if this podcast, if this episode, if the wisdom shared here is supportive for you, please share it with someone who can benefit as well. Help us to get this information into the mind and heart and ears of more humans and more men and more women so women can understand us, too, and so we can understand ourselves. And please share, like, subscribe. All these things help to build the podcast and build this message for a better world and a more awakened life. So thank you so much for listening. Once again, this is Robbie J. Bone. Have a beautiful day. Have a beautiful week. Have a beautiful life.